No, It Isn’t ‘All About Relationships’

Happy Friday,

More mortar for the foundation.  

It’s an oft-repeated phrase in almost every organization. ‘This business is all about relationships’.

But what does that even mean – relationships?  Webster’s Dictionary confirms the ambiguity: ‘A state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings.’ Huh? Yeah, it's all about that...

Still, leaders say it all the time. A call to action that's often directed at technical staff, leaving them wondering what they’re supposed to do about it. Maybe go to more conferences. Socialize more? Buy a round of drinks? Slap a few backs? Is that what it's all about?

But then there's this: We had a very talented wastewater treatment plant design engineer working for us. He was an exceptional talent, and our clients all knew it. But he had a bad habit of talking down to people and making them feel stupid, consistently generating terrible relationships. Even so, on two separate occasions, a city manager and a district manager came to me with the same message, “I want you guys to do this project, and I want him working on it, but I don’t ever want to see or interact with him. Got it?”

All about relationships? Clearly not. It’s gotta be something else.

Then there are those people with seemingly endless relationships who make the rounds at every conference, buying drinks and slapping backs. Everybody seems to like them. But it often fails to translate into any meaningful advantage for some reason. What gives?

It's because it never has been about relationships. It’s always been about trust. Trust is the currency of opportunity. Trust is the key that unlocks new business. You don’t need to buy drinks or slap people's backs. You need to earn people’s trust in you personally and in your work.

The fact is, you don't win projects. You’re entrusted with projects. You don’t win a promotion. You’re entrusted with the responsibility of the position. You don’t win opportunities in life. You’re entrusted to fulfill opportunities. And when it's somebody else, it's because they earned more trust than you did. Relationships are great. Good ones are definitely better. But relationships absent trust are just friendly acquaintances. To be entrusted with projects or significant career opportunities requires trust. More is better. Tell your kids.

Punchline: It's time to stop promoting the importance of 'relationships' once and for all. It just inserts ambiguity when what's needed is clarity. Be it the success of an organization or an individual, it's ALL about trust. A hard focus on trust-building is your ultimate success strategy.

Have a great weekend,

Dave

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Written by me, not ChatGPT, with much-appreciated speed assist and blunder avoidance by Grammarly.